A Dao Zhou thing.
I can no longer remember exactly when I became interested in photography. Looking through the old family albums, the earliest photos I can find seem to date back to around 2001.
Back then, whenever I had the chance to go somewhere on my own, I would take my parents’ film camera and photograph anything that caught my eye. I had no idea how much a roll of film cost, let alone that developing it would cost extra. If something looked good, I pressed the shutter. Whether the picture turned out well was something I would only discover after coming home. I wasn’t online yet, and I hadn’t read any photography magazines. I simply enjoyed it, so I kept taking pictures. Perhaps that was what it meant to love something for its own sake.
On one trip, a friend watched me for a while and said, “Everyone else takes pictures of people. Why are you always photographing mountains and water?”
That remark has stayed with me ever since.
At the time, I couldn’t really explain it. I just felt that if I had made it all the way to a mountain or a lake, I ought to take a picture. Who knew whether I would ever be back?
Later, I travelled to more places, and the things I carried changed along the way: a film camera, a camcorder, a digital camera. After moving to Australia, I somehow became convinced that I needed a DSLR. I remember looking at cameras in an electronics mall in Zhengzhou when the man selling them asked my dad, “What camera do you use, sir?”
Thinking about it now, it reminds me of the idea you hear these days: that you can somehow tell what a person is like from the camera they use.
During the years when I was most absorbed in photography, I spent almost every weekend driving somewhere to take pictures. I would pick a place on the map, drive there, and see what I could find. Sometimes I came home with plenty of photos; sometimes I barely took any. Either way, a whole day would pass, and it never felt wasted.
Later, I got a mirrorless camera, and phone cameras kept getting better. Yet I found myself taking out a camera less and less. Before leaving home, it seemed too heavy to carry. Once I was out, it seemed too much trouble to use. Even when I noticed beautiful light, I would think: next time.
Next time I’ll bring the camera. Next time the weather will be better. Next time I’ll have the time to take some proper pictures.
As I get older, I find that when I look through those old photographs, it is no longer just the scenery I’m looking at. I notice what people were wearing, wonder whether the shops along the road are still there, remember who came with me that day, or something my parents said before I left. So many things I hadn’t thought worth remembering only begin to come back through a photograph that wasn’t even particularly good.
And I do feel some regret. Back when I was so busy photographing the scenery, I wish I had turned around more often and taken a few pictures of the people beside me.
I still love photography. But increasingly, I feel that I don’t have to go somewhere far away, or wait for a day that seems right for taking pictures. The family sitting together, something funny my child says, a patch of lovely light on a walk—all of these are worth pausing for.
If I can, I take a picture. If I can’t, I look a little longer and listen a little more.
The days I let slip by over the years often turn out to be the very ones I most wish I could return to. This moment may feel perfectly ordinary. But while I’m still here, living it, there’s no need to hurry it along.
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已经记不清,是从什么时候开始喜欢摄影的。翻家里的老相册,能找到的照片,大约拍于2001年前后。
有机会独自出门,拿着爸妈的胶卷相机,看见什么都想拍。也不知道一卷胶卷多少钱,更没想过冲洗还要另花一笔。觉得眼前的东西好,就按一下快门。至于拍得怎么样,得回家以后才知道。那时候还没接触网络,也没看过什么摄影杂志,只是自己喜欢,就这么拍着。可能这就是真的兴趣了。
后来有一次出远门,同伴看了我半天,说:“别人拿相机都是拍人,怎么就你对着山水拍?”
这句话,倒一直记到现在。
那时候也说不出什么道理。只是觉得,一座山、一片水,既然走到跟前了,总该留一张。往后还能不能再来,谁知道呢。
再后来,去的地方多了一些,手里的东西也换了几轮:胶卷相机、DV、数码相机。到了澳洲,又不知怎么,认定自己该有一台单反。记得在郑州的数码城看相机,卖相机的大哥问老爸:“叔,您用的是什么相机?”
有点像如今流行的说法:从一个人用什么相机,似乎就能看出他的性格。
最热衷时,周末基本都用来开车找地方拍照。在地图上找一处地方,开过去,看看有什么可拍。有时带回不少照片,有时也没拍到什么。但一整天就这样过去了,倒也不觉得白跑。
后来,微单有了,手机也越来越能拍,拿出相机的次数却渐渐少了。出门前嫌重,到了地方嫌麻烦;偶尔看见不错的光,也想着,下次吧。
下次再带相机,下次天气好些,下次有空,认真拍一拍。
年纪渐长,再翻那些旧照片,才发现自己看的,已经不只是当年的山水。也会留意照片里的人穿着什么,路边的店还在不在;会想起那天是谁同行,出门前爸妈说过什么。许多当时觉得不必记的事,竟要靠一张拍得并不怎么好的照片,才能慢慢想起来。
于是也有些后悔。当年对着山水拍得那么起劲,其实也该转过身,多拍几张身边的人。
如今还是喜欢摄影,只是越来越觉得,不必非得去很远的地方,也不必等一个适合拍照的日子。家里人坐在一起,孩子说了句有趣的话,散步时遇见一阵好看的光,都值得停一停。
能拍,就留一张。拍不了,也多看一会儿,多听几句。
这些年随手放过的日子,后来想起来,常常正是最想回去的日子。眼下这一刻,也许平常得很。可既然还置身其中,就别急着把它过完。
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